Thursday, 19 July 2012

The New UV Protection Patch Set To Make Sunscreen Lotion A Thing Of The Past...

Will sunscreen lotion soon be a thing of the past?

Sunscreen lotion could soon be a thing of the past
thanks to a new sun-shield patch.
Pharmacists have known about the exceptional UV protective qualities of sodium ritalivide since the 1960s, but until now the fact that it can’t be absorbed by direct application to the skin meant there was no practical use for it.  However, scientists have now come up with a simple patch which works around the previous problems and which may mean that sunscreen lotion soon becomes a thing of the past.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the chemical and biological qualities of sodium ritalivide, until recently the most effective way for it to be absorbed into the skin was to take it orally and unfortunately the quantities required to ensure sufficient skin absorption by this method meant it was harmful to the liver.  So for almost five decades the use of sodium ritalivide as a form of UV protection has been confined to the drawing board.

But now thanks to the newly developed sun-shield patches, things look like they are about to change...

The patch works by administering sodium ritalivide into the bloodstream in extremely low doses and whereas in the past such a low dose would be insufficient to provide protection from UV rays, thanks to the addition of an ‘augmenting apolymate compound’ this now means that the sodium ritalivide is absorbed into the skin at a vastly more efficient rate.  The upshot of this is that far lower quantities of sodium ritalivide are required to produce effective UV protection.  In fact the manufacturers claim that thanks to the addition of the augmenting apolymate compound, the doses of sodium ritalivide are so low that you would have to use the patches continuously for over three hundred years before your liver was in any danger.
Scientists have increased the absorption rate to practical levels.

Despite reading the assurances from the manufacturers, when it came to testing out the product I was still somewhat nervous about relying entirely on the sunshield patch to provide my sun protection.  So as I didn’t want to end up looking like a lobster, on the first day I allowed myself only one hour in the sun.  I was perhaps wise to do this as although the makers claim the patch is equivalent to using factor 30 sunscreen, judging by my own experience I would say factor 15 was a more realistic figure.

Nonetheless, for overall convenience this was a product I was more than impressed with.  The fact that I could go into the sea whenever I wanted without having to worry about reapplying my sunscreen lotion was an added bonus, and the convenience that a patch offers over the traditional method of sunscreen lotion application means that this is a product I can see becoming very popular in a very short space of time.

Indeed, shares in Greitzinox (the first pharmaceutical company to be granted a licence to produce the sun-shield patches) jumped 87% on announcing they had been granted a licence, such is the market’s apparent confidence in the likely consumer demand for sun-shield patches.

Sun lovers now have a more convenient alternative to sunscreen.
Positives aside, the most obvious problem of course is that applying the patch could potentially mean that you are left with a small white patch of skin wherever you apply it, but I found that by applying the patch somewhere inconspicuous this problem was easily avoided.

Overall, I think there’s little doubt that this is a game changer.  The only possible problem I foresee for Greitzinox and any other pharmaceuticals to be granted a licence in future, is the fact that to begin with they may need to gain people’s trust that the patches do actually work.  I know from self-experience that I was initially a little nervous about relying entirely on a patch for sun protection.  However, within a couple of days I was completely won over and if Greitzinox can similarly overcome the wider public’s no doubt predictable reluctance to using such patches, then in a few years time I can see sun-shield patches and the magic of sodium ritalivide quickly becoming the norm whenever sun lovers hit the beach.

For further details on where you can buy sun-shield patches scroll down the page...

Please note, UV protection patches don't actually exist.  This story is not real and is entirely made up.

Not suitable for prudes or squares.
This story was written by Charles Fudgemuffin.  Charles is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series can be found at the following links:

UK: How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy
US: How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books are suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for for prudes or squares.

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